Thoughtworm Number 10
June 2003
Hello,
One recent evening, Malinda and I took a walk down a trail near our house. As we walked, rabbits foraged at the edge of the mesquite trees. The trail winds along a small stream with steep grassy sides. It’s not quite so idyllic as I make it sound, but it’s a nice place to walk all the same. We continued walking, and as we looked down the hill to the stream, we saw a skunk ambling along purposefully. The skunk started climbing up the opposite bank of the stream from where we were. At the top of the bank, we saw some movement. I thought it was a rabbit, but Malinda said that it was larger than a rabbit. Meanwhile, the skunk continued to edge its way up the bank, heading toward the spot at the top where we saw this movement. All of a sudden, the creature that had been moving around rose up out of the tall grass to get a good look at the skunk. It was a coyote! The skunk crisscrossed back and forth, with its tail held high, trying to decide what its best course of action was. After a couple of minutes, the coyote lost interest, and the skunk moved farther along the bank before finally cresting the hill several yards away from where the coyote sat.
Being able to walk a few minutes down my street and witness such an encounter makes this place where I live special. But, I’ve still wrestled with my feelings for Wichita Falls for the entire nine months that we’ve lived here so far. There isn’t any one single characteristic of this area that either makes me hate it or love it. It’s very hard for me to describe how I feel here, and how much of it has to do with me personally, or my surroundings. These are the themes, though, that I’ve chosen to tackle in this issue. They are the ones that have been burdening my mind, and so I had no choice but to write about them.
A lot of factors contribute to my overall sense of well-being, and it’s often difficult to isolate and examine individual ones. I am a mess of conflicting traits, tendencies, desires, and needs. For example, I tend to shun human contact because it often makes me feel both uncomfortable and inept, yet, at the same time, I know that it is this contact that I crave and require in order to feel alive and engaged in living my life. Lately, I’ve been trying to figure out the right combination of elements that’s necessary to make me feel happy about myself and my life. It’s still a long road ahead, but I think that this issue of the zine holds some of the pieces to the puzzle. I hope you enjoy the read. Malinda created the stunning cover, which continues to cause my jaw to drop. A very special thanks goes to her for everything!
Sean
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